It is a truth universally ignored that modern political discourse has devolved into an elaborate pantomime in which each side, upon hearing the other speak, reflexively adopts the opposing position—lest they be contaminated by even the faintest whiff of agreement. Intellectual honesty has been abandoned in favor of a perpetual game of “not it.”
Key Truth Number One: The United States federal government was designed with three separate but equal branches—executive, legislative, and judicial. “Equal and separate” being, of course, a concept some conveniently forget when they wish to bend institutions to their own ends. Some view the judiciary as a divine oracle when it suits them, yet a nuisance in need of dismantling when it does not. Others demand the legislature remain sacrosanct, until they find its powers inconveniently distributed among those they despise. But such is the charm of modern governance: consistency is for the weak.
Key Truth Number Two: While a belief system may well provide its followers with a moral compass (one assumes it functions better than their usual ethical weather vanes), there is no place for religion in government. And yet, we find ourselves in an era where some wish to blur the lines so thoroughly that a Department of Christianity sounds less like a dystopian joke and more like an imminent policy proposal. One can already hear the cries: “But our voices must be heard!” Indeed, and they shall be—precisely as loud as any other citizen’s, which is to say, without the benefit of divine endorsement or state sponsorship.
Key Truth Number Three: The government is not a business. It is not a revenue-generating enterprise. It does not exist to maximize shareholder profits, nor to cater to those who see every institution as either a conquest or a cash register. Yes, efficiency is desirable, corruption intolerable, and oversight necessary—but let us not pretend that the function of government is to “run like a business,” particularly when those advocating for such a model are, more often than not, precisely the sort of businessmen whose ventures have ended in fraud, bankruptcy, or spectacular scandal.
But alas, in this age of performative ignorance, we are told that a serially failed businessman, like Donald Trump, is the ideal steward of a nation—because nothing inspires confidence like a man whose financial acumen has left a wake of collapsed casinos and unpaid contractors. And as for Elon Musk, the unelected autocrat of our time, he roams the landscape like a fever-dream Nietzschean, wielding his unchecked wealth as both sword and scepter, convinced that his whims constitute governance. That such figures are now treated as viable leaders is not merely a national embarrassment; it is a grand, tragic joke—one whose punchline we are all about to experience.
Of course, it is useless to argue with those who have forsaken reason in favor of “gut feelings” and “truthiness,” those who decried emotion-based politics until they found themselves enraptured by the tantrums of their chosen demagogues. But reality, ever the stubborn mistress, will not be ignored forever. When their idols falter, as all false gods must, they will wail that they were betrayed. And the rest of us—those tedious souls who dared to apply reason—will simply sigh, shake our heads, and carry on trying to salvage what remains of the Republic, if indeed anything does.
-Rob
Obtuse Enlightenment 